If you don't like your life-CHANGE IT. If you are in a dead end relationship and or job with no future prospects of things ever getting better- quit wasting time and energy and GET THE HELL OUT!!! Life is too damn short to be miserable all the time. Well that's exactly what I finally did and am in the process of doing. My long distance runner personality carries with it a tough it out mentality. Sometimes, I can get myself into bad situations and just keep gutting them out over long periods of time until I finally have had ENOUGH and just have to get out. Many years ago I was in this kind of situation at work in Fairbanks where I gutted out SEVEN YEARS. The work situation went south after the Russian program was cut from the high school program and I was involuntarily forced to teach Spanish( one of my other qualifications that I have but do not like to advertise) until I could find a better job which I eventually did as a Russian bilingual teacher in Wasilla and now terribly miss :-( In late 2007, the visa laws changed here and i had to give up a governess job I absolutely loved. The hours were great-from mid afternoon to early evening and the little boy was a good kid. This job and my wasilla job are probably the two I have most enjoyed in my life. The company could not provide work visas so I had to find a job that did. I had to go back into corporate which I really did not want to do because the hours and the split shifts can be brutal plus the pay is not great compared to what I can make as a governess or on my own. The first year the salary was still relatively competitive then the Crisis hit in 08 09. We lost clients and I had little work. I took the initiative and picked up more privates and started seeking out commercial races to pay the bills. This being Moscow the cost of living was and is still continuing to skyrocket yet my salary no loner is able to keep up. Well the way it works is that when you get stuck working for a corporate language center they are middlemen. They pretty much take half of what you could really be making. Lets say for a lesson you can make 100$ on your own and most schools charge about this. You will at best see 50$. So why onj Earth did I agree to this- I needed the darn visa. The alternative was going back to the US jobless in the middle of the friggin' winter. In life and in sport I accept nothing less than the best and I will not stoop to levels beneath my potential. This also means i will not go back to the US just to go back to the US and take a crap shoveling job just to go back to the US. I would likely not get hired anyways for a crap shoveling job because i'm overqualified. This has actually happened to friends of mine in the US. NO , I WILL NOT USE MY ADVANCED DEGREE TO ASK YOU IF YOU'D LIKE FRIES WITH THAT BURGER!!! Plus, crap shoveling jobs don't pay the bills and you can't support yourself shoveling crap.
Well this has been snowballing over the past couple years in a major way. The split shifts disrupt my sleep patterns big time and might I say that this is not good for me at all since I've struggled with sleep disorders off and on since I was 15. I need to bed down and get up at roughly the same time every day and NO I DO NOT recover on 5 hours of sleep. No amount of money is worth screwing up my health. My boss can always replace me but I can't replace my health. It's been nearly FOUR years since I've been to a concert because I work anti social hours. All the things I used to do here that made Moscow a halfway desirable place to live I can't do mostly because of my antisocial work schedule. Friends ask me out but I rarely go because I often have to drag my ass up for an early class only to not be free anyways til after 9PM. Salary-year 3 no rise. Situation in Alaska- not good for getting back to my old job this year. I HAVE TO TAKE ACTION NOW I simply cannot continue like this anymore. I'm depressed over it and sometimes really bitchy from the lack of sleep from being drained from split shifts. My boss knows I run too and he tried to minimize the crazy split shift stuff but I still had it in there at least twice a week and it was slowly killing me.
In late August I met a good friend for breakfast and a coffee after my morning class. I hadn't seen her but ONCE since the new year!!!! We talked and she knew I had been miserable for a long time. She was actually starting to worry about me. Bless her heart. We then went off to the honey market where I picked up some good yummy honey from Bashkiria to load up on before the 100k. By midsummer I was so burnt out in my work situation(mind you I had not had holiday since I got back from Gibraltar LAST NOVEMBER) I didn't even want to get up in the morning. Again the salary was a big part of it and just not feeling appreciated (no raise in 3 yrs...c'mon). Decision made - I will deal with this after the 100K I need to focus on that right now and I've never been one to let all the other noise in my life screw with my running.
Two years ago, a friend of mine who works here passed me on a contact of a person who has a firm that does work visas. I am so thankful now she passed me that contact. I so wanted to do this but simply could not afford the visa costs plus the trip back to the US for the initial work visa. Work visas have to be done in home country. The contact had open quota spots for US passports too. Shortly before I left for the Netherlands I met with this man and we worked a timeline up for filing for my new work visa. When I was in the Netherlands I got a text saying I had to submit docs by September 23rd so my work visa would renew in country annually in December each year(like I do now). I needed to pick a time I don't usually travel out for races then and each byear once you have a work visa as long as you are with the same firm they need your passport for a week or so to renew the work visa here in Russia-no visa run outside required. So last week, I paid the fees (I've struggled to put the $aside to do this) and submitted all I needed to. My visa will be ready in late January and I'll pay some employment taxes on it monthly but nothing killer. I may just time that visa run with Rocky Raccoon and run the 50miler. There is a Russian consulate in Houston. Moreover, I will once again fill my hours from afternoons into the evenings and still train late mornings like I do now but no more split shifts and wicked chasing around. the chasing will be on my terms now and I will be paid accordingly. I may even pick up some part time governess work again as I have been getting wind of good offers. I'll have to do a visa run in early December for a short term visa to cover the time when my current one expires and when the paperwork on the work wone will be done but that's just an excuse to cut town and go to Riga and get the visa there. After doing al this I officialy resigned. My boss was bummed and yeah the fall is not the best time to do this to him but the bottom line at the end of the day was really the bottom line plus long term concerns for my health. He's actually not a bad person and very down to Earth.
Ok work situation in check now. I actually feel like I have a burden lifted. I have requests coming in to fill those evenings but hey, if I want that once in a blue moon evening off to see a concert or maybe even shhhhhh show up to a track meet....I have the option. I need work life balance. Hell, my students take those once in a blue moon evenings off too. We are all human.
OK now the running front. Knock on wood, I'm coming off this 100k much faster than the last one. I ran walked on day 3 and that was it- all the crap was out of my legs. I just did very easy 8-10k recovery runs during the week and well ummm on the seventh day rest she did not but RACED....WHAT?! Yeah i went out of town for a 7K-just to have an I-don't-care- no pressure race. I figured I'd just do what I could, sandbag if I had to, but no FORCING ANYTHING. Well speed was still not what it was pre 100k but I held 4min/k pace just parked it. A couple girls went out fast and i passed just before 5k but then made a fatal wrong turn in the last K so finished behind one of them. They do awards in 10 yr age brackets at this one so i won that and was 2nd overall. I wasn;t even supposed to race but moving the legs again felt good. I need to continue to carefully recover and listen to my body and slowly build up so that maybe I can redeem myself by the time the Chicago 50/50 rolls around.
Ok now the BIG picture with all this running. I've been thinking for a while...need to change smthg here too. If I look at the WHOLE BIG PICTURE I have really only had two outstanding races since coming out of my hole in 2007. Riga 2009 would be what I call my last decent marathon and the 50K World Cup in Daugavpils this yr. Ok to be fair Moscow International Half in 2009 was good too. After Riga in 2009 the kind of training I was doing led me to my first nasty experience with something between overreaching and overtraining followed by evil injury. Basically, at age 34 I was doing more than I did at 24 or at any other time in my running career. I started having recovery issues between hard sessions. I ran Solnechnogorsk in August and did well but soon all hell broke loose after. I had my first ever experience with shin splints in my left leg near the ankle then screwed up my right piraformus and sciatic nerve closer to Chicago that year and had a crap marathon. I spent a good portion of the winter at the therapist's literally getting my right ass and lower back fixed....not fun. 2010- I'd say was mediocre performance wise. This year got off to a mediocre start but after Luzhniki I started doing the kind of training that looked more like what I used to do when I was on my own in Alaska and also the kind of training that subsequently led to PRs. Only problem this yr is I really only got to show that in the 50k. There are certian things my body responds to and certain things that will just kill me all around speed and everything else included. This year I also started listening to my body and categorically refused to do a hard workout not recovered enough from the previous one and guess what....shocker...I got better! I have a pretty good idea of what I need and I think I've finally come to the conclusion that I need to go it on my own for a while and tweek a few things here and there and I should be ok. Ryan Hall got overtrained and went on his own and is kicking ass. One of my best friends in the world who I miss dearly back in Alaska is on her own and is an 8:08 100k runner. I need to do what's best for me and this may be it. I've been thinking of that for some time now much like I thought out the work decision before making it. Sacrificing what could have been a good season and possibly a good marathon time this year only to end up in EPIC FAIL is not cool. yeah I was prepared for the 100 but there is only so much you can do in the heat but it;s not about the 100 so much as it's about the BIG PICTURE. I'm not of the age to just toss a season like I will have many many more next years to fix it and make it better. I need to problem solve now before it is too late. If that means I need to go it on my own for a while than so be it. I was on my own in Alaska for over nine years and did nothing but run very well across the board. The only thing I'm lacking are the mountains and domes but that's where I'll start spending occasional training time once I get all this visa running done. Like I said, I have never let all the other bull in my life screw with my running and I'm not about to start now. When things aren't going to plan, it's time to adapt and make changes. Sometimes change is necessary for the better, sometimes change is good.
7k
Well this has been snowballing over the past couple years in a major way. The split shifts disrupt my sleep patterns big time and might I say that this is not good for me at all since I've struggled with sleep disorders off and on since I was 15. I need to bed down and get up at roughly the same time every day and NO I DO NOT recover on 5 hours of sleep. No amount of money is worth screwing up my health. My boss can always replace me but I can't replace my health. It's been nearly FOUR years since I've been to a concert because I work anti social hours. All the things I used to do here that made Moscow a halfway desirable place to live I can't do mostly because of my antisocial work schedule. Friends ask me out but I rarely go because I often have to drag my ass up for an early class only to not be free anyways til after 9PM. Salary-year 3 no rise. Situation in Alaska- not good for getting back to my old job this year. I HAVE TO TAKE ACTION NOW I simply cannot continue like this anymore. I'm depressed over it and sometimes really bitchy from the lack of sleep from being drained from split shifts. My boss knows I run too and he tried to minimize the crazy split shift stuff but I still had it in there at least twice a week and it was slowly killing me.
In late August I met a good friend for breakfast and a coffee after my morning class. I hadn't seen her but ONCE since the new year!!!! We talked and she knew I had been miserable for a long time. She was actually starting to worry about me. Bless her heart. We then went off to the honey market where I picked up some good yummy honey from Bashkiria to load up on before the 100k. By midsummer I was so burnt out in my work situation(mind you I had not had holiday since I got back from Gibraltar LAST NOVEMBER) I didn't even want to get up in the morning. Again the salary was a big part of it and just not feeling appreciated (no raise in 3 yrs...c'mon). Decision made - I will deal with this after the 100K I need to focus on that right now and I've never been one to let all the other noise in my life screw with my running.
Two years ago, a friend of mine who works here passed me on a contact of a person who has a firm that does work visas. I am so thankful now she passed me that contact. I so wanted to do this but simply could not afford the visa costs plus the trip back to the US for the initial work visa. Work visas have to be done in home country. The contact had open quota spots for US passports too. Shortly before I left for the Netherlands I met with this man and we worked a timeline up for filing for my new work visa. When I was in the Netherlands I got a text saying I had to submit docs by September 23rd so my work visa would renew in country annually in December each year(like I do now). I needed to pick a time I don't usually travel out for races then and each byear once you have a work visa as long as you are with the same firm they need your passport for a week or so to renew the work visa here in Russia-no visa run outside required. So last week, I paid the fees (I've struggled to put the $aside to do this) and submitted all I needed to. My visa will be ready in late January and I'll pay some employment taxes on it monthly but nothing killer. I may just time that visa run with Rocky Raccoon and run the 50miler. There is a Russian consulate in Houston. Moreover, I will once again fill my hours from afternoons into the evenings and still train late mornings like I do now but no more split shifts and wicked chasing around. the chasing will be on my terms now and I will be paid accordingly. I may even pick up some part time governess work again as I have been getting wind of good offers. I'll have to do a visa run in early December for a short term visa to cover the time when my current one expires and when the paperwork on the work wone will be done but that's just an excuse to cut town and go to Riga and get the visa there. After doing al this I officialy resigned. My boss was bummed and yeah the fall is not the best time to do this to him but the bottom line at the end of the day was really the bottom line plus long term concerns for my health. He's actually not a bad person and very down to Earth.
Ok work situation in check now. I actually feel like I have a burden lifted. I have requests coming in to fill those evenings but hey, if I want that once in a blue moon evening off to see a concert or maybe even shhhhhh show up to a track meet....I have the option. I need work life balance. Hell, my students take those once in a blue moon evenings off too. We are all human.
OK now the running front. Knock on wood, I'm coming off this 100k much faster than the last one. I ran walked on day 3 and that was it- all the crap was out of my legs. I just did very easy 8-10k recovery runs during the week and well ummm on the seventh day rest she did not but RACED....WHAT?! Yeah i went out of town for a 7K-just to have an I-don't-care- no pressure race. I figured I'd just do what I could, sandbag if I had to, but no FORCING ANYTHING. Well speed was still not what it was pre 100k but I held 4min/k pace just parked it. A couple girls went out fast and i passed just before 5k but then made a fatal wrong turn in the last K so finished behind one of them. They do awards in 10 yr age brackets at this one so i won that and was 2nd overall. I wasn;t even supposed to race but moving the legs again felt good. I need to continue to carefully recover and listen to my body and slowly build up so that maybe I can redeem myself by the time the Chicago 50/50 rolls around.
Ok now the BIG picture with all this running. I've been thinking for a while...need to change smthg here too. If I look at the WHOLE BIG PICTURE I have really only had two outstanding races since coming out of my hole in 2007. Riga 2009 would be what I call my last decent marathon and the 50K World Cup in Daugavpils this yr. Ok to be fair Moscow International Half in 2009 was good too. After Riga in 2009 the kind of training I was doing led me to my first nasty experience with something between overreaching and overtraining followed by evil injury. Basically, at age 34 I was doing more than I did at 24 or at any other time in my running career. I started having recovery issues between hard sessions. I ran Solnechnogorsk in August and did well but soon all hell broke loose after. I had my first ever experience with shin splints in my left leg near the ankle then screwed up my right piraformus and sciatic nerve closer to Chicago that year and had a crap marathon. I spent a good portion of the winter at the therapist's literally getting my right ass and lower back fixed....not fun. 2010- I'd say was mediocre performance wise. This year got off to a mediocre start but after Luzhniki I started doing the kind of training that looked more like what I used to do when I was on my own in Alaska and also the kind of training that subsequently led to PRs. Only problem this yr is I really only got to show that in the 50k. There are certian things my body responds to and certain things that will just kill me all around speed and everything else included. This year I also started listening to my body and categorically refused to do a hard workout not recovered enough from the previous one and guess what....shocker...I got better! I have a pretty good idea of what I need and I think I've finally come to the conclusion that I need to go it on my own for a while and tweek a few things here and there and I should be ok. Ryan Hall got overtrained and went on his own and is kicking ass. One of my best friends in the world who I miss dearly back in Alaska is on her own and is an 8:08 100k runner. I need to do what's best for me and this may be it. I've been thinking of that for some time now much like I thought out the work decision before making it. Sacrificing what could have been a good season and possibly a good marathon time this year only to end up in EPIC FAIL is not cool. yeah I was prepared for the 100 but there is only so much you can do in the heat but it;s not about the 100 so much as it's about the BIG PICTURE. I'm not of the age to just toss a season like I will have many many more next years to fix it and make it better. I need to problem solve now before it is too late. If that means I need to go it on my own for a while than so be it. I was on my own in Alaska for over nine years and did nothing but run very well across the board. The only thing I'm lacking are the mountains and domes but that's where I'll start spending occasional training time once I get all this visa running done. Like I said, I have never let all the other bull in my life screw with my running and I'm not about to start now. When things aren't going to plan, it's time to adapt and make changes. Sometimes change is necessary for the better, sometimes change is good.
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